Editorial
Front Page - Friday, January 22, 2010
View from the Cheap Seats
Kid's play
Bill James
William O. “Bill” James, Jr.
Are we too easy on our kids? As I was growing up, I was often pummeled with stories about the hardships that my parents had to go through growing up. I was constantly told how harsh punishment was back in the day, how lucky I was to have everything that I had in my life, and how blessed I was to have parents that worked so hard for me. Blah, Blah, Blah. It seems that maybe it is the same for every generation.
Ironically, except for the hardships we all think we suffered as children, we all remember the good old days as a mythical time when things were so much simpler and life was better. If our childhoods were tougher, how can life have been better? It is a bit of a quandary.
It brings to mind a simple but complex question: Are we making life too easy for our kids?
My children have a large number of trophies that they did not win. They participated, so they got a trophy. Everyone is a winner. They played several years in a basketball league that did not keep score. We seem to coddle our children to make sure they never have to suffer in any way that we can prevent.
I have heard it said that the worst thing you can do for your children is something they can do for themselves. I don’t know if that is 100 percent true, but I know that the things I have learned myself are the things I seem to learn the best. You can warn against the pain of touching a hot stove, but nothing teaches the lesson like actually touching it.
I have fallen into the same trap my father did when I was young. I work entirely too much. I tell myself that I do it for my children and I do it for my family. I wonder sometimes what the real reason is for what I do. I occasionally find myself in the dichotomy of wanting everything for my children and then begrudging everything they have and the fact that they have little or no idea how “good they have it.”
Is it better to push your child to be the best they can be or to make sure they are happy? This is a hard question. There are many children that just wander through life and are very happy. There are others that are huge “successes” that have been pushed and dragged to the winner circle by their parents. Many are going to end up where they end up regardless of their upbringing, but those in the middle may find their happiness depends on the pressure or lack of pressure that is put upon them by parental units.
While this diatribe seems a little disjointed, it is written at the end of a tough day in the parenting department. I have been told by many that the parenting just gets tougher as they get older. It was hard to believe after countless night of lost sleep dealing with a newborn. It was so foreign, there were no absolutes. As they get older, things seem to get even more fuzzy and the actual control I have is nothing more than a house of cards. My children will surely look back and tell their children how hard they had it growing up in my home. They will doubt every word of it. That just seems to be the way things roll in the CHEAP SEATS!
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