Editorial
Front Page - Friday, March 05, 2010
View from the Cheap Seats
Nasal Burn
William O. “Bill” James, Jr.
WmJamesJr@aol.com
It started to hit me last week. Actually, it started to hit Patti first. It was some kind of illness. I don’t think it was the flu, but maybe it was. It just made me feel real tired and gave me a bad cough. All my life I have been prone to bad coughs when I get sick. They are deep, loud coughs that bring concern to those in my presence. I like to think I cough like a man. But I know my cough can be annoying.
Anyway, I fly to Austin on Thursday night for the Mid-
Year meeting of the National Association of Criminal De-fense Lawyers. I did all right keeping the coughing to a minimum on the plane, but my nose was “stopped up” the entire flight.
I went out with some friends after I arrived Thursday night, but my illness became so severe the next night that my cough was too bad to take out in public. I ate room service in my room while watching the Winter Olympics. I could have done that in Little Rock.
I had Dr. Sammy in Fayetteville call me in a prescription for a “Z” pack and some ‘Tussin. The two work wonders when my cough takes advantage of me. As I write this on Monday night, I am beginning to feel much better and estimate a full recovery over the next two days. The wonders of modern medicine always amaze me. Truth is, the rest I got in my hotel room and Sunday afternoon while Patti sheltered me from the kids probably had a lot to do with my recovery.
I wonder if anyone caught the fact that I said I was writing this on Monday night. I am 24 hours ahead of my regular schedule. I feel bad, yet I type. It just doesn’t make sense.
After we got home tonight, I bemoaned the fact that I had not come up with anything to write about and asked Patti for suggestions. Nothing was offered immediately. In all fairness, I ask her the same thing every week. As I finished the dishes, she commented on a posting on AOL that discussed the best ways to tell someone they smell.
Apparently, according to AOL (or someone they listen to), the best way to comment on the fact that the person stinks is to tell them that they do not appear to feel well and you have noticed that they are a bit “ripe.” Then you ask them if they have anything they need to talk about. Let us review. Following the advice of AOL, the way to tell your buddy that they have an objectionable odor about there person is to say something like:
“Hey Bob, you look like you feel like crap and you kinda stink. Why don’t you tell me about it.”
I gave this a little thought and I suggest an alternate route. How about just telling the person that you are their friend and you think they should know they stink? You would want to know, wouldn’t you? Besides, who needs a friend that stinks? If you are not close enough to the person in question to meet the problem head on, then just send them a little note that tells them to consider forming a relationship with a bar of soap.
I told her that I could not write about that in my column. I told her that I have readers that expect me to do something more that to steal the topic of a column from the homepage of AOL. It is just not that easy.
The good part is I have another 24 hours before I need to turn in my column. Surely, I can come up with something better than the best way to tell a man he stinks. Although, such a skill could be of value when you are stuck sitting next to that particular friend way up in the CHEAP SEATS!
Share
|